Creating our life!

My morning runs are pure gold; the music in my ears, the sound of my shoes hitting pavement, the beauty of a day not yet begun, quiet thought and the chance to enjoy just me. These runs, depending on the day, are friend, confidant, consoler, companion, lover, healer, counselor and so much more. Some days my mind wanders, flowing in and out of different thoughts and other days the thoughts jackhammer in a staccato rhythm, bam, bam, bam, one thought to the next. There are runs where I unravel problems and some runs that I just am. This morning was another beautiful union and as I ate up miles I appreciated the fall crispness. After a couple of days off, I relished the solitude and was thankful for my many blessings starting with, the single blessing of that moment.

Today, my thoughts seemed to be behaving and had chosen a single purpose to delve into while I ran; creating a life with the choices we are given. Every person has a different experience, a different tune to march to and a different ending to the story they choose to write. As I run, I think of how our boys have been raised in an environment where boundaries do not exist to what can be achieved. If they believe and are willing to work they can create what they want. We all can. Unfortunately, many people exist in life without ever really having lived. Along the way they forget how to dream, the blinders come out and the hamster wheel seduced them. Everyday becomes nearly identical to the next; get up, go to work, come home, pay bills and do it all again. Different life events will be sprinkled in, but the bulk of it remains the same until they retire. For some, retirement becomes the waiting room for dying. Time is spent wondering "what if" or lamenting some wrong or another.

The lure and "safety" of the hamster wheel can draw us away from creating and experiencing life to the fullest. We have heard the sayings numerous times; eat dessert first, use the good china everyday, laugh, dance in the rain, don't wait, take a chance. What keeps us from jumping in and creating what we want, creating what we love? Many will answer money, upbringing, life situations, but I believe the single greatest factor that keeps us tied to simple existence is fear. Fear of failure can paralyze us. We would like to believe other people's thoughts, perceptions or comments don't matter, but on some level they can influence our path. We worry who sees when we fail once, twice or mutltiple times in pursuit of a goal. The comments and judgements will inevitably come from one or multiple people and those comments rub raw just like salt in a wound. These fears keep us from leaving the safe and mundane.

Just as potent as failure is fear of success. Success can break us out of the painfully comfortable life we are existing in. The rat race lulls us into complacency, hypnotizing us to forget our dreams and our goals. The quiet whirr of monotony whispering over and over, it is good enough, it is good enough. When the blasted wheel finally stops our sight and vision have vanished and all we can do is wait for the end. The few times we view success we may freeze. If we are successful once it means we would potentially have to be successful again. Expectations would change and our life would change. Change is terrifying! Even though the grind is slowly killing us it gives the illusion of safety and contentment.

We love to travel as a family! The memories we have created with each trip become fabulous stories and have stayed with our children long after thoughts of a toy or game. My children have experienced first hand that each new place has something different to offer, new food, new customs, new people. Fear could easily have robbed this treasure from our family! I was terrified to start traveling! I am a homebody, an introvert and large groups of people send my heart racing and I can end up in panic mode. Added to that is the well-known, "what if game". What if the plane crashes, what if you get mugged, what if, what if, what if. Interestingly enough, the largest group of supporters of the what if game are those who are so entrenched on the hamster wheel they haven't yet ventured out. I made the choice to face my fear. It was empowering to deal with it, to curb the terror and really enjoy amazing experiences! I have eaten at crazy, fun restaurants, had conversations with people who didn't understand english, waded in the Black Sea and hiked the hills in Kyoto. My kiddos are amassing similar memories.

When we face fear and move beyond what other people may or may not say, think or feel about us, we take the first step toward owning and creating our life. Each morning we have a choice to work toward what we want. It won't happen overnight. It is a long and sometimes treacherous journey, but we have to bravely take the first step. When we really want something we can make it happen. Unfortunately it means facing fear and taking responsibility for what we choose to do and not do. It means choosing not to be a victim and sometimes going the extra mile when we don't feel like it. It means breaking from status quo and soaring like an eagle even when it is uncomfortable. When the decision is made and the first steps are taken, life begins to change. We realize there is great goodness in the world, despite what we see and hear in the media. Opportunities that were hidden become available and the path toward the life we want becomes clear as glass.

As always, though, there is a price for creating what we want. When we choose to step out, it sends a wave through the people around us. Some may not understand but will try to be supportive and others will panic. Those who panic are locked into the grind or don't want to take responsibility to change their lives. Their reaction is to attack us and how we are changing ours. They will gladly share 1001 reasons why we won't achieve what we want. They will try to steal our dream because they are too afraid to pursue their own! We have to have enough strength, desire and belief to step away from those people. Don't let their small minded thinking impact our grand plans. As we move forward we have to choose the people that fill our space. Are they people who will encourage and give energy or at the very least not steal energy? We have all been surrounded by those who's lives are constant drama; who exist to share one problem after another; who tend to be frustrated with first one group and then another for many perceived injustices. These are the people who can rob us of the energy needed to continue the journey. As we all know misery loves company and to create what we want, we have to limit time with these people.

As we pursue our vision sometimes we have to have faith and leap when we don't see the safety net. We must trust that our heart is being tugged in a specific direction for a purpose. When we don't trust or take a leap of faith we can spend a lifetime wondering what we missed. The only boundaries on the life we want are those we choose to put into place. Creating what we want is terrifying. The fear will push us into the role of victim, will spawn comparison, negativity and complacency. Fear has nothing to lose by tethering us to its side. We, on the other hand, have everything to lose when we are held captive by fear.

While creating my life I have learned many things; age is only a factor if we make it a factor; excuses are the devil's playground; if we never take a chance we will never experience true greatness; there will always be somebody better; there will always be somebody worse; we need courage to be true to ourselves; it is difficult to flock with the turkeys when we need to soar like eagles and we are never given another today.

As I finish my run, I smile and breathe in the beauty of the morning. Thousands of stars twinkle through the dark mantle of the sky. I am blessed and thankful for where my thoughts wandered this morning. Today is a gift that I will treasure. I will not be ruled by fear and will take the next steps necessary to create the life I want for my family.