First Day of School

 

The town was quiet this morning as I headed out for my run. Things are very different for me than in previous years. Both of my boys are starting college today. For the last 16 years I have made sure one or both were awake, everything set for school, first day of school pictures and then off to school. Our routine was set; waking up they would sleepily hug me and then stumble into the bathroom. Early on I made breakfast and as they got older, they made their own. We always said prayers and they would sleepily finish breakfast. In elementary school, I would double check their backpack, making sure they had everything for the day and as they grew that was their responsibility, backed up with a simple, “Have everything?” from me. Both Sweet T and Rockstar are responsible and except for the rare occasion they would leave prepared for the day. Just a couple times in their junior high and high school career did I have to drop off a forgotten book or notebook.

We were blessed and made it a priority to be able to take the boys to school and pick them up. I cherished those 30 golden minutes of chatter after school, listening as they would share everything that happened; what they played at recess, who they ate lunch with, what their favorite part of the day was. When T turned 16 that changed, I stood on the front porch and waved as he drove to school. My heart ached at the change, but I smiled at his new-found independence, knowing that was the next step of many steps of independence to come. As T would drive off, I was thankful we were still able to drop Rockstar off at school. After school, when it was nice, I would kick off work early and walk to meet him. Walking home together he would grab my hand and talk about his day. I cherished that until Austin turned 15. At 15 and 18 they both were high school students. The first day of school when Rockstar was a freshman and Sweet T was a senior, I watched those sweet boys drive off together. They waved, I waved and when I shut the door I cried just a little. Things were changing again. I knew from that moment on, I would never be picking them up or dropping them off again. Those talks in the car or on walks were replaced with homework and chatter at the island, after athletic practices as I made supper. 16 years goes by in the blink of an eye.

 

This morning I thought of them on my run, saying a prayer for a good first day and a great semester. They sweetly kept with tradition, my oldest sending me a picture on his way to class and my youngest swinging by between classes so I could take a picture. With each step I thought about so many of our wonderful memories, knowing we will create new different, memories. I am so blessed and thankful to be their Momma for this journey. Each stage prepared me little by little for the moment when they would soar on their own. The transition from kindergarten to field trips to overnight sleepovers, multiple day athletic trips and world travel without us.

They are in their own places, beginning the next new, exciting chapter and I couldn’t be prouder. I have learned from my boys every step along the way, just as they have learned from me. They are independent, strong, and compassionate individuals, bringing their grace and understanding to our world and community. They are thoughtful, careful with their words and very aware of how they impact those around them. They stand respectfully strong when their heart is convicted, always researching, understanding, weighing costs and benefits trying to make mostly good decisions. We never saddled them with the moniker of perfection, always asking them to do their best in all situations, knowing sometimes their best could change from day to day.  They understand faith at a deep level and make decisions with faith as a foundation. They aren’t overly vocal, preferring to show their faith by actions rather than words.

I texted them both this morning, wishing them good luck and letting them know how proud I am of them, proud of the men they are, and the men they are becoming. My heart sighed with the responses, thankful they are comfortable and grounded enough to chat with Mom. I am glad they know we are a safe place to navigate the changes and that we are always there for them. As the school year starts and I relinquish crayons and tissues for laptops and backpacks I say a quiet prayer of thankfulness for the many memories we have created over the last 16 years, moments etched in time at wonderful ages; painting in art class, zombie tag and wallball at recess, math, chess, choir, band, football, basketball, golf, track, science fairs, field trips, senior years, graduations and now college. I am thankful for the parents who have journeyed with us, supplying hugs as we said good-bye to each stage, who brought tissues when stages got difficult, and who loved our boys as vehemently as we do.

My house is quiet today with no anticipation of hearing how the day went and my heart hurts knowing I will no longer be part of their daily lives, but I smile knowing they will impact the world. Strangely, I don’t yearn for them to be young again. We were present and enjoyed those ages and stages when they happened. Today, with a few tears in our eyes, we celebrate the strong wings of individuality and independence they have grown. They will soar above the clouds ready for the next chapter.